The Minkoff Minx {Go Ahead…Make Your Move!}

"I get very passionate about what I think is right."-Hillary Rodham Clinton

Late night snack, and a love affair with a stick of butter.

There she sits in her wheelchair, staring out blanking toward the window. Slowly she turns to look at me and says, “What…is those pimples on your face?” She is completely out of it, does not know who she is or where she is at…which happens to be the nursing home. However, she still has the wherewithal to point out my deficiencies. That is Nana, always ready with a criticism, a slap on the back of the head or a quick command, usually about food, and how she has not had enough of it. So as I think about what this overweight, short, dark-haired, Sicilian woman has just said to me, I am reminded of a Nana story that should be written down for posterity, or at least for those who need a good laugh.

Back in the late 1990’s, when  she was 82 years old, and still somewhat functional she and my Nano moved away from the quiet idyllic West Tampa street, whose name is pronounced like one of those songs I listened to in the 80’s.  From Aileen Street,  having reached a point where the need for supervision was too great, the old farts moved in with my parents. After many calls to my Mother, due to car accidents, lost false teeth and heart attacks, with a side of Checkers fries, it was decided that they would be dragged from that cocoon of delusion to the red hills of North Georgia. This move was considered “short-term” since they both were already as old as the hills they were moving to.

As I just said, this move was supposed to be short term…but 11 years later, one down (Nano died in 2003) and my parents were still wiping ass, which is ironic since they were cleaning up ass longer than Nana had changed my Mother’s diapers. (I have gone off on a tangent.)

Well, Nana and Nano had lived at my Mother’s house a few years. Nana was still able to walk and get things on her own, but she really should have used her walker. The time is late, early morning around 1 am, and she is getting up for yet another feeding. As usual, she wobbled up to the refrigerator, sans walker, and proceeded to open both the fridge door and the freezer door, thereby getting a better view of what the appliance had to offer. As she was deciding which morsel she was going to partake of, the pudding or the frozen cherries, her balance was thrown off by the enormous weight of her ass and like an ancient oak being felled, both the old lady and the refrigerator toppled to the floor. I often think of this happening in slow motion, with Nana falling backwards like some sort of villain in a Mel Gibson action movie, the fridge coming down on top of her. Both the freezer and refrigerator doors remained open and fortunately, the freezer door had stayed open at a 90 degree angle, holding the fridge slightly aloft keeping the full weight of the large appliance off the old hungry woman; the enormous girth of the stomach area receiving some pressure from the shelving inside the fridge as she lay there. Slowly, some of the contents of the fridge started to spill out, namely an open can of evaporated milk and a bowl of grapes.

My parents quickly came into her room to investigate the tremendous tremor that shook the house and woke them up.  Luckily for Nana, several of the grapes where within her reach, so she did at least have something to snack on while my Father worked carefully to get the fridge off of her. Yes, picture it, the woman was picking up and eating the grapes that had spilled out onto the floor, if she could reach them, they were gobbled up. My Father had to get the winch off of the old Suzuki, so that he would be able to drill it onto the wall and lift the heavy appliance off Nana without the freezer door collapsing and causing the full weight of the fridge to crush her. Nana was not concerned at all, she continued to graze off the floor, eating grapes, while the activity of securing the fridge went on around her.

As my parents got the fridge off of Nana, the full comedic scope of this story came into view. Nana’s robe was open and each boob, which was the size of a large eggplant, was resting on either side of her body. She was covered in white evaporated milk that had pooled up in the center of her chest, and streamed down the sides of her fat rolls. She was lying in a puddle of thick milk; but the best part was where the full unused stick of butter was resting…as if placed there deliberately, right between her fat thighs. Words cannot express the scene. Here she was spread out on the floor, naked breast facing in either direction…covered in thick white fluid, eating grapes off the floor, with a stick of butter between her legs.

When they finally got her cleaned up, and back into bed, Nano calmly said to her, “Jay, you fell down?”

Advertisements

Filed under: For no particular reason, Work in Process

2 Responses - Comments are closed.

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by JJ Walts and Minkoff Minx, Minkoff Minx. Minkoff Minx said: Late night snack, and a love affair with a stick of butter.: http://wp.me/pYimO-aD […]

  2. Minkoff Minx says:

    Changes to be made per Ma:

    Nano calmly said, Jay your on the floor when Nana was under the fridge.
    Ma wanted to take a picture, and the only camera available was Denny’ Polaroid. But he refused to tell Ma where he hide the camera, cause he did not want her to use it. So consequently there are no photographic evidence that Nana was under the fridge.
    While Nana was on her back, with the fridge on top of her, she repeatedly told my mother, I’m alright, I can get up.

MinkoffMinx on Twitter

“I’m a Sky Dancer!”

I am so proud to be a member of the Front Page Team.

SkyDancingBlog.com

Sky Dancing Blog

I am very proud to be a part of this diverse group of writers. We have articles on a variety of topics. It is not just politics...we discuss psychology, health care, environmental issues, farming, economics, current events, art, literature and just about anything that sparks an interesting discussion.

~ a place to discuss real issues ~

Stop by and become part of the conversation.

www.SkyDancingBlog.com

RSS My post over at Sky Dancing:

  • Wednesday Evening Reads: Cartoons…No Joke
    Every time I tried to write today’s post, something kept me from starting it…whether it was lack of internet service…having to cook dinner, or just to take a nap. So as you can see, I’ve added an “evening” to the title. That should make everything OK… Obscene. https://t.co/rf80eeqi5Q — Nancy Sinatra (@NancySinatra) November 14, 2017 […]
  • Sunday Reads: No Moore… #MeAt14
    Well, when I was 14 years old, I had to wear a back brace. The corset kind, that came down over my hips and half way through around my ass. It was quite a surprise for all those teenage boys who felt the “urge” to carry out their “need” to slap ass…they got a hand […]
  • Wednesday Reads: Rainbow 🌈 Wins
    This is huge news: But Danica was not the only Trans woman to win last night. That's TWO historic wins for transgender women in politics during #ElectionDay 2017. https://t.co/BJZUnI5CGk — Mary Emily O’Hara (@MaryEmilyOHara) November 8, 2017 So proud of movement auntie, Andrea Jenkins, who became the first openly trans woman of color elected to […] […]
  • Sunday Reads: What’s going on?
    Good Morning I am so disgusted with Brazile and Warren. I am pissed off that this latest and blatant smear campaign on Hillary Clinton followed the same MO as the Comey fuck over from last year…release some “bombshell” reported as “over the top” and “scandalous” news by MSM, which is an obvious attack on a […]
  • Wednesday Reads: Not Again
    I don’t want to tell you what I thought about after the details about the attack in NYC started to become clear. One word I haven’t heard since yesterday late afternoon….Russia. A few links to get started: Did y’all see this? I’m writing this post on my phone, the roof of our house is up…and […]
  • Sunday Afternoon Reads: Weather is Frightful?
    Good Afternoon. Here in Banjoville, the temps outside are cold enough for flakes and flurries of snow, and inside our house…the dust from drywall is creating its own flurries. I am writing this post on my new laptop, which is still not completely set up..while I sit in a room, which is still designated a […]