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Plug That Damn Hole replaces Shut Your Mouth…Repost

The following is something I wrote for a featured series I was doing on another blog. The series was call “Chronology of Crap” but since that is now a thing of the past…I guess it was too political for them…I am just reposting it here so I have a copy of it.

So the earth is excreting all sorts of things from its orifices around the globe. Whether it is a natural occurrence of an erupting volcanic crack in the earth or a big man-made hole spewing crude a mile beneath the Gulf…crap is just spilling out.  Which leads me to my Chronology entry for today. As any good chronicler worth their weight in salt knows, documenting a current event that affects the society is the true agenda behind writing a history…and with this in mind I turn to the recent explosion and spill at  BP’s oil platform Deep Sea Horizon.  I am not going to get political or carry on about environmental issues but I will take this opportunity to bring up an interesting point that main stream media may miss.

Throughout Presidential history, a quote from the “Big Chief” becomes a catch phrase of sorts and attached itself to each President.  It seems that this oil leak has brought about an opportunity for all concerned to adopt Obama’s recent quote as his Presidential Catch Phrase, the words that will represent him in history….”Plug That Damn Hole!” Brilliant on so many levels, and open to a range of interpretation.

However, to fully appreciate this quote for what it is, lets look at other former Presidents and their own catch phrases that have stayed with them. Take Reagan and his little diddy,  ”Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” Then there is Bush the Elder’s “Read my lips.” and “Thousand points of light.” Clinton had many, but one that sticks out in my mind is, “…that depends on what your definition of IT is.” One of the most famous quotes of course comes from Nixon, “I am not a crook!” Now that is a damn beauty of a catch phrase, it defined a dark period in Presidential history, the Watergate era. In contrast to Roosevelt’s words that inspired a generation of Americans, “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.”

Then you have those written phrases that act as spoken words, in that they also attach themselves to the man in charge. Truman had a sign on his desk which read, “The buck stops here.” This quote is still referred to during these recent days. Or, perhaps another sign that was more recently was in our faces…”Mission Accomplished!” These two words seems to exemplify Bush the Younger in more ways than the other “Bush-isms” do.

This latest utterance of Obama has such potential and should be embraced by a wide variety of people. “Plug That Damn Hole!”…oh the possibilities with that one.  First of all, everyone loves a catch phrase that states an expletive, and the quote is played over again on television and radio without a censored “beep.”

Plug that damn hole can replace so many sayings people use daily. Parents no longer have to tell their screaming kids to shut up…plug that damn hole works just as well.   Same with that common dinner phrase eat your food…plug that damn hole.  Wiseguys can drop the old clichés of forget about it and also have new way of ordering a hit, plug that damn hole.  Heterosexuals and Homosexuals can celebrate a new pick up line that crosses the bounds of both sexual preferences! Bars from LA to Soho will be flooded with the same come ons to both the female and male patrons, by just changing the statement to a question…Plug that damn hole? Environmentalist rejoice in the fact that there is so many different holes that need plugging up, like the hole in the ozone, they can also embrace this chant as a new “going green” slogan, Plug that damn hole…plug that damn hole. Diner’s can order up anything they like by replacing the term scattered, covered, smothered or all the way with Plug that damn hole. You see where I am going with this, the possibilities are truly endless.

Those who do not agree with me, or do not think this is the best Presidential Quote ever, I have only one thing to say to you…”PLUG THAT DAMN HOLE!”


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